Wednesday, May 8, 2013

So... A Hooker with a Gun?

Well, I can not prove that she was a hooker, per say.  It all started when we had a day trip planned on Monday to Sao Paulo, so I had a sleep over at Andrea's house on Sunday night.  As we were parting ways with the rest of the group Sunday night, I decided that I wasn't tired enough to go to sleep, so I begged for Andrea to take me dancing.  Feeling a little guilty about leaving Mark behind, we had Daniel and Mark meet us at Bozo for some MPB (Popular Brazilian Music).  We walked into the bar and were quickly approached by a tall blonde with long legs and a short mini-skirt.  Don't forget, this is Brazil so that part is not too unusual.  She quickly realized that I didn't speak Portuguese (Eu Fala Portugese Pocino).  She made the international sign for "you wanna go out back and get high?" but I declined.  She nodded as though to say "your loss dude" and then grabbed my hand.  The music started back up and we danced.  Now, I've never claimed to be the BEST dancer in the world, but I definitely can't be the worst.  This is where things get a little fuzzy.  After being yelled at for having no rhythm and repeatedly stepping on her toes, she backed away far enough to yell at me, and lift up her shirt to reveal a gun tucked into her skirt.  Don't forget, I only speak the Portuguese of a three-year-old, but I'm pretty sure that she said something to the effect of "if you continue to suck at dancing I'm going to shoot at your feet while yelling "Dance Boy, Dance!""  Thankfully the song ended soon after allowing me to quickly take a seat.

It was at this moment that Mark and Daniel arrived.  Because we were international travelers, the owner of the bar offered us a shot.  The rule was that if we could take it in one drink, it would be free.  If it took more, we had to pay double.  We're from Wisconsin.  Enough said.  After the shots we had a beer or five.  Out of this period of time came the alternative title of "The Hooker Got Her's Too."  She helped herself to our beer, naturally.  At some point in time, she took a Tazer out of her purse and showed us how it works.  Honestly, I was more scared when she showed us the Tazer and fired it up than when she showed me her gun.  Maybe it was the buzz and bright light and the thought that "this crazy chick might decide to just shove that thing into my side at any time."  We left soon after this.

The music was good.  Our friends are fantastic.  While walking out, we heard from Andrea's friend who was with us that our new friend might actually have been a cop.  They sure don't make cops like that back in the states!

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